Second Guessing

 

Second Guessing

Second Guessing

I think in all things we look at in life, there are little lessons we can learn. Some are more bitter than others, but they exist. Take tonight, just by watching a simple game.

Tonight I watched a college football game, Kentucky at Louisville. I watched the game expecting Louisville to win easily, since Kentucky’s football team is probably average at best (no disrespect to them).

Louisville has a star running back by the name of Bush, (not Reggie Bush from USC, who plays for the Saints). This guy was supposed to be the next big thing, and the fans were expecting huge things this year.

Louisville jumped out to a big lead, with Bush scoring 3 touchdowns in the first half of the game. When Louisville jumped out to a big lead, the commentators wondered if maybe they should take the starters out, because you don’t want them to get hurt. But about that time Kentucky started to make their move, scoring and making it slightly competitive.
I think the score was 31 to 17 when they started the third quarter when it happened…

Bush take the ball, runs to the outside and is tackled by Kentucky…and gets his leg broken…

Broken.

This is a HUGE disappointment for the entire university. The footnote here is that Louisville did win big, I think like 50 something to 30 something. But the larger note is that Bush is out for the year…the YEAR.

This was a guy that was expected to be in the Heisman race, this was a team expecting to go undefeated with his help, this was a guy that was certainly expected to go to the NFL as a high draft pick…all apparently gone now because of his injury.

So, should they have taken the starter out in the first half? It would have certainly prevented that season ending injury. But that is all hindsight, and as they say, it is 50/50.

What’s this got to do with prison? Just as much because we are talking about second guessing. How many people out there wish they could have “seen the signs”.

How many moms wished they could turn back the hands of time to help their son?

How many inmates wished the had not done what they did to land them in prison?

How many people regret their mistakes, and wish they could have changed them?

It is always easy to look back and see what you could have done to change things, and for inmates and families, this is so easy. And there are always people outside the circle who like to give you the “I told you so’s”.

But to think that you could is foolish, and time wasted on the past.

Correct me if I am wrong, but WHO invented the way back machine?

I thought so.

If you are worried sick about a loved one in prison, and you are beating yourself silly because you wished you could have changed it, stop doing that. This energy is absolutely useless now, because you cannot change what has happened…

Or to put it another way, you can’t cry over spilt milk.

The more you focus on that, the less you are focusing on what you need to be doing, which is living in the present. We as a people or individuals cannot change what has happened, whether we are involved directly or indirectly. But what we can do is try to do what we can to make things right, or at least decent, for the time being.

Do I wish I had never gone to prison, of COURSE I DO! Do I wish I could have changed the situations, of course I do. Do I regret what happened to land me in prison, of course I do. But that does not help me do anything but have long nights torturing myself internally. This does not help me to face the day and do what I can to make it a little better.

Listen to what I am saying, if you are spinning around worried about how things happened, STOP doing that. Yeah, easier said than done, but not impossible. If you have a loved one in prison, you priority is not worried about what you could have done to prevent it, but now what you can do to encourage him or her that they are still loved, and will continue to be loved. I cannot emphasize that enough to everyone who reads my works.

Second guessing is not productive, it only causes you to regret mistakes and then to continue to give them place. We all make mistakes, but no one here has mutant abilities or supernatural abilities to “know” when something is about to happen, so that they can take measures to prevent it.

There are some signs we can see. For example, when Tropical Depression Ernesto came though, we knew it was coming because of technology. We knew we were due for a lot of rain, and possible flooding. But when I woke up the day after, and looked out on the yard, I didn’t know that it would leave branches and twigs all over the yard. I expected rain, but not the wind that came with it.

So did I sit there kicking myself for not knowing…no. I got my butt out there and cleaned up the mess, then went back inside, grabbed a soda and got ready for Sunday’s college football games…in other words I addressed the problem, settled it and moved on.

Keep that in mind when you think about your loved one.

When negative things happen, you have to find a way to deal with it, or cope with it, while looking for answers. It allows you to control your life, rather than being controlled by what you could have done.

Anyway, I gotta go, think about that when you worry about why your son, daughter, husband or whomever. You can’t change the past. So do you best with the present and the future.