Well..... My husband and i have been married for almost 4 years now , we have a 6 year old son together.....but our relationship is a mess !!! From the day we got together it has been nothing but chaos just to give you snip bits... he cheated on me and had a child with another woman at the same time I was having our child so.... my son and the other woman son are ONLY 4 moths apart !!! I forgave him and I took him back ..... then he cheated on me with her again and I caught them having a "family time" on Newyears day during his "family time" escapade he didn't come home for 3 days !!!! No call Nothing and he wouldn't answer my calls....anyway I forgave and took him back....then he cheated on me with some other woman and gave me a STD !!!!......I forgave him and took him back !!!....he needed to get his immigration paperwork sorted out and I did but the paperwok and case has been drawned out during the years because I became reluctant to help him because i felt like I was being used; I am the one who paid for all of the lawyer fees and paperwork to begin with , I never stoppd the process but during my times of doubt everything would be put on pause. Anyhow, Finacially he couldn't help me because he didn't obtain his work permit and to me it always seemed a non priority for him to me because cheating with other woman and running streets was more important !
So now....he has been arrested and has been in jail for 4 months now for a drug charge, and while he was arrested a immigration hold was placed on him so he has a huge problem, because he may face deportation in fact his immigration lawyer said he will definitely face deportation if he is convicted because it's a felony drug charge !!!! So my husband ask that I get him a private attorney for which I did the attorney charged me a $5,000 retainer fee for which I've paid $3,000 of so far my husband said that he would not take the case to trial and that it wouldn't have to go to trial because of the situation anyway , the DA set his bail for 75K at the bail hearing because he said my husband was a flight risk , so I tried to see if his family could help out with a bondsman but noone could ! So that left me once again to take car of everything by myself, but I've been so financially drained over the years my resources were no way near what was needed !!!! So he had to stay in jail and on the next court date they offered him 6moths and 5 years probation which would have been a steal to the average person charged with this alleged crime However that isn't the case with him because like I said he is not a Citizen he doesn't even have his green card yet and the funny thing is he had AOS court date in August which he missed because he has been incarcerated sine May 1, 2009 .... this angers me ! Getting back... he refused the plea deal offered because he would have been automatically deported which he may be anyway, so he decided to take it to trial On August 28, 2009 they indicted him on felony c possesion of a controlled substance and his next court date was set for November 27, 2009 but before that time they will probaly offer him another deal, and if he doesn't take it he will go to trial which will open another can of worms because the lawyer will charge another $5k for trial and I've have been having a hard time paying off the first $5k !!! I've always been the one to support our family I have 16 year old son from a previous relationship and a 6 yr old with my husband and I've been the backbone of everything and everyone!!!
I am very fustrated now because ther has been a few things that have ocurred since his incareration...for one I was not the first person he called when he got arrested , he called his friend so that they could pick up his property because he had somethign to hide from me which was probaly a cell phone ! He got arrested once for driving with a suspended license and when he called me i went down and picked up his property for which I fournd a cell phone that he was using to call women , esepecially this one particular young lady who he previously exchanged intimate text messages with and who's calls along with others cramed the call log ! Anyway after not calling me first, I take off form work have my sister drive me from Brooklyn where I live to Westchester county court for his arraignment on;y to find out that it was a remand and bail was too high !!! But here is the blower......I also found out that his car was seized during the arrest !!!! Let me tell you whay this is blower ..because he had this car for years but the insurance was cancelled on it because his sister insured it therfore he couldn't drive it , it was parked in a garage for like the last 2 years while he drove my 2006 honda CRV around the world with out putting gas or anything into it !!!! So it;s was a complete blower to me to find out that he was driving the car expecially since I sold my car in Novenber 2008 because payments were a hassle and I din't have a car for a while and I asked him to let me insure the his acr that was parked and noone used and drive it until I could get my own but he wouldn't he wanted me to give him my money to ket him insure the car and wanted me to make the car insurance payments every month !!! Long story short he insured the car himself in March 09 and was driving it ever since and hid it from me !!!! I couldn't believe it !!!!!!! so the days when i had to walk our son to school in the cold becauseI didn't have a car he had one but was hiding it from me !!!!!! Anyway after learning all of this in court while my sister witnessed it and she tooo thought he didn't have the car on the road I was FURIOUS !!! Needless to say I forgave him so the following tuesday I took off form worrk and went to go surprise him with a visit but i was the only one to be suprised because it turned out that he had just got off a visit with his "female Friend" WOW How disrepectful was that He wasn't even locked up for two weeks and already starting CRAP!! Any way I was angry for a ciouple of days but I got over it and continue to help him running around to different places trying to help him out and spending money that i don't have and taking the bus , train to the plane from brooklyn to westchester county prison just to see him , then my son started to feel neglected becaue on Saturdays i would leave him with my mom to go and see my husband I would leave @ 10 and arrive the jail @ 12:45 to 1pm only to visit for a hour and leave for the return journey to my moms to pick up my son and I wouldn't get there until 6 pm sometime so the whole saturday would be shot and On sundays I would have so many errands to run and chores to do beause this was my only free day because I work Monday to Friday i didn't have any time for my kids so I told my husband I will come and see you twice a month and he got upset and angry and tried to make me fell guilty which didn't work just made me angry because he is so selfish & manuplitive !!! Anyway last night he said that I treat him worst than an enemy !! How the hell is that ???? Mind you I have been the one putting like $75.00 a week on the globtel acct so that he could call and i spent even more when he first got there , and leaving him money when i could and bringing all of his packages, court clothes books , pajamas etc. and sending him packages through I-care direct , and paying his immigration and criminal lawye, lokking out for him financially when he needed and taking care all of other responsibilites he couldn't handle and also accepting and buying little things for his other son when he couldn't and just overall loving him after he has constantly gave me his ass to KISS !!! WOW I can't believe it ! I asked him who came to see him this past saturday because I couldn't make it because My family had a BBQ for me because my birthday is tomorrow and he told me "you didn't come right ?" WOw I was taken back then he said I'm going do what I have to do and you can come whenever you get a chance so I said what does that mean and he said he goign to have whoever visit him meaning his women because I can't come there every visit !!! WOW
Please share you opinions with me.
Sounds like to me you're a glutton for punishment. Let the scum bag rot
WOW! YOU RELLY PUT UP WITH ALOT YOUR AMAZING....YOU SHOULD LET HIM REALLY THINK ABOUT EVERYTHING YOU HAVE DONE FOR HIS LYING,CHEATING,GOOD FOR NOTHING ASS.YOUR THE ONE WHO SHOULD HAVE LEFT HE'S DUMB YOU ARE SO GOOD TOO HIM AND THIS IS HIS THANKS SOUNDS TOO ME YOU CAN DO IT ALL BYYOU SELF. YOUR A STRONG WOMEN GOOD JOB:)
If you are still wanting a divorce from your husband in prison, I can prepare your divorce documents for you for a fee of $75. I specialize in prisoner litigation, and I have done ALOT of prison divorces. You can visit my website for more details. www.doddsresearch.webs.com
Really sorry to hear about this. If I may give you my opinion on this, from a man´s point of view. Just because you are married to that guy, that does not make him a husband. A real husband would not do the things he does. You would be better off without him and his abuse, because it will still be the end results. Better now than years down the line I say. You deserve so much better than him because you sound like a decent person. Let him rot and be happy if they deport him. That is one little bittersweet victory for you, courtesy of the US gov. He´s not even being a father to your son, his own son, and people like him deserve to fry in hell. He´s just a rock weighing you down and believe me that you will feel so much better after you forget him. And even your son is better off without a father than with a guy like this.
If you were reading this post about another couple what is the first thing that comes to mind? More than likely you would say the woman was dumb and begging for him to keep crapping on her. At what point do you stop and realize that as much as you think you love him HE DOESN'T LOVE YOU AND HE NEVER WILL! No matter what you do for him he is never going to love you, or respect you. Besides caring about him, him, him, him, and what he needs, think about what your 16 year old needs. Do you think he needs to see a male treating his mother like dirt? Don't you know that what he sees is what he will more than likely emulate? Your focus should be on you and your children not this grown male (he does not deserve to be called MAN). At this point you should cough up the $75.00 the lawyer told you about to get a divorce. You don't want to be stuck married to a male that is deported. How are you ever going to get a divorce when you can't find him when he is deported? Believe me, I understand that It will be very hard on you, but it is already hard on you. Get on with your life. The first thing you MUST do is start LOVING YOURSELF! You need to find a way to love yourself, because it is obvious that you don't . You will find a REAL FRIEND/HUSBAND/FATHER that you and your children deserve he is out there. It is apparent to us all that you have a heart of gold. Please cut your losses and think about yourself and your children. One day a real man will come into your life that will make this nightmare a thing of the past. However, until you make space for him you will never receive your blessing.
WOW LET HIM GO...MY MAN IS LOCKED UP IN DOUGLAS & EVEN AFTER 4 YEARS ID LET HIM GO FOR SOMETHING LIKE THIS...
Thank you ALL !!! Sometimes you know what's right and wrong all along but for someone to reassure you, is what gives you that PUSH !!! I went to see him on Saturday October 17, 2009 since this post, I dropped off a radio for him and money and told him that this was the last time i would be visiting i told him i will continue to put money in the phone acct so that he can call and speak to our son , but I made sure to tell him I will only put $25.00 a week on the acct. he tried throwing the guilt trip at me which I totally didn't absorb, it's funny because for the first time I was actually disgusted by him !!! He annoyed me so much that i cut the visit short and left he called and spoke to our son on Thursday, October 22nd for about 8 mins. because there wasn't enough funds in the acct.. i just placed $25.00 on the phone last night. I have to tell you ..... On monday October 19th I called his lawyer to let him know that I would be sending him the final balance of his fee this week and he said to me that he didn't want to get in my personal business but i am a nice girl and he doesn't know how i got hooked up with my husband but that i should let it go , because this isn't healthy for me and i don't deserve this he said look I am going to tell you balantly....... everything time i go to the jail your guy is visiting with another woman and it isn't you, so go figure get out of it you deserve better. I was totally shocked that this was coming from him but little did he know it was already over !!! I know he's going to try to talk to me soon when he calls our son but I don't want to talk.
LUV IS BLIND..... GIRL U DNT NEED A MAN LIKE THAT EVEN THOUGH HE UR BABY DADDY UR A STRONG WOMAN AND U DISERVE BETTER ... WHY WAIST UR LIFE 4 SUM ONE WHO DNT APRECIATE U ... KEEP UR HEAD UP
im so sorry that you've had to go thru soooo much stuff like that no one in this world deserves to be hurt so much, we all deserve to be happy, I always say that everyone should follow their heart, but i know that you'd be better off alone with your son, or with some one else....some one who knows how to treat you the way you deserve to be treated