Infidelity.....

Wow I wish there was an easy answer to all that.  I know that he is hurt, and I am not sure of how long he has been incarcerated, or how long ago this infidelity was, but you might want to try a small break if possible to let him perhaps calm down. But by all means follow your heart. I would try and stress to him that you wanted to be honest with him and tell him the truth because you wanted to be with him.  See if you can explain that to him, and see what he says.  I hope that some of that makes sense.  Also stress to him the importance of your feelings for him, and that you would never do something like that again.

Kayjay I know exactly how you feel I haven't been unloyal to my husband but I met my husband in 2001 and he was on parole and only been out of prison since July and this was in Sept. by Oct. we were maddly in love and I moved form Kansas back home to Texas to be with him. I did not know until after we had been married for 4 years and he was back in prison that he had been diagnosed in 1996 that he was bipolar and that TDCJ new it but never did anything to help him and then he blacked out one night and assaulted me and was blue warranted back to prison and that is when I found out about his disease. I love him whole heartedly and only hope that we will  make it together when he gets out but we have both forgiven each other and love each other. It;s not that I haven't had ideas or thoughts but I have never gone through with them but my feelings  are that if you love him and vice versa you will work things out and be happy.

God Bless and keep you

Thanx 4 the kind words. If I could give you any advice. Do not ever entertain those thoughts!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The cost is way to high. No matter what you all are going through. I'm sure I don't have to tell you that though. Your relationship seems to be very solid. I wish you the very best.

My husband has been down for 7yrs now. It will be 3yrs in February that we've been in this relationship. The infidelity occurred earlier this year around March. It has been extremely hard for us to recover and I'm scared. I just really don't know what to do. I've done all that I could think of to fix it. It just seems as though I make it worst with every effort. I'm not going to give up however. Thanks for listening

Oh no problem in listening. That is what I am hear for. You are right to keep trying because he will eventually see that you are being persistent, which will cause him to rethink some things. I don't know if you even pay attention to blogs but I have been knowing my husband fo 11 years and the 21st of this month we will be married 8 years. You will see that I still struggle with problems with him. I have given up on my husband on some occasions and tried to move on but it never worked. I followed my heart and realized that my husband is truly my best friend. I hope that your man eventually sees that you made a mistake and will give you a chance. In the name of love.

Its great to have someone that has been there , my mother -in-law  says that I don't understand because I'm just the wife not the mother but what I try to explain to her is that its hard on everyone concerned but that we should show our support and not want to have anything to do with him because he doesn't write to them but yet they don't write him except b-days and Christmas. I try to write 2-3 times a week and no matter how bad I feel about what happened I have been his main support for yearsnow, even before he went down this time they had problems. Instead of a normal mother son relationship it was she blamed him for her life being messed up -she never come straight out and admitted it but you can tell. I mean he did not even know who his real father was until he was 40 years old and then he found out by accident--it seems even his half brothers and sister knew. I may not have been the perfect mom but I always tried to be up front with my boys. If we as loved ones of inmates if we can't support them and care about them who do they have to rely on.

God Bless

I hear you. I happen to not like my mother-in-law, nor the rest of my husband's family. They are part of the reason my husband is where he is, along with his bad decision making. I have been the ONLY one by my husband's side. They don't write him and never been to see him, nothing. His mother and sister showed up to his recent court date, (Nov.21st). His mother caught me in the hallway and put on the water works and told me that she didn't know what she did to me, but could I forgive her. I didn't say anything. I just let them say what they had to say. They treated me like crap also, and I really can't stand them for it. His sister tried on numerous occasions to break us up. You name it. So it is pretty much me and my husband against the world. When my husband came into the courtroom he looked directly at me. He didn't even look in his mother and sister's direction. He has even had enough of them. But you are right, our inmates need someone. I am committed to my husband even though I have wanted to simply give up on many occasions. He is my best friend and I love him. I just wish that we would stop bickering so close to him coming home. I guess that all the time that we have been away from each other, we are nervously trying to prepare for what is to come.

Hey girl how you doin? Well i agree with Reko give it some time and him as well. Maybe yall need a lil space to think things over....And when yall both are ready then just let it all out how u feel abt it..But i tell you what its good that you told him urself that u cheated because if he wouldve heard it from someone else believe me it was goin to be worse cause usually ppl add more stuff to the story and thats how rumors start.He should be thankful that ur being honest and ur not lying..Cause lying is not good in a relationship. He'll eventually think abt it because he has all the time to think abt alot things..Nevertheless girl just follow what ur heart says, theres always a reason why ur heart tells u to follow whtever situation it might be...

I think you ought to let go.  If he comes around in his own time after he has processed everything, great.  But continuing after him is further insult because you are not respecting what he said.

 

Let him have some space, at least.

First of all you should of never told him that you cheated on him,did you think he would want tostay with you after knowing you had been sexually involved with some one else?My advise to you would be to give him some time maybe he love you enough to take you back.