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when i want to feel close to him....

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hopeful Posted: 09-27-2008 8:50 PM

 I FIND MYSELF IN A WEIRD SITUATION, I WANT TO BE CLOSE TO THE ONE I LOVE, BUT HE IS LOCKED UP! SO WHENEVER I THINK ABOUT HIM AND WANT TO FEEL HIM CLOSE TO MY HEART I WRITE TO HIM. IT SEEMS LIKE ANYTHING THAT I CAN DO THAT HAS TO DO WITH HIM  MAKES ME FEEL CLOSER TO HIM! CRAZY I KNOW BUT IT ACUALLY HELPS WHILE I AM WAITING FOR HIS RESPONSES FROM MY LETTERS. ITS ALL I CAN DO NOT TO GO CRAZY! I WISH SOMETIMES HE COULD JUST PICK UP THE PHONE AND CALL TO SAY GOODNIGHT!!! YA KNOW?! 

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my response to this is would they do the same for us?????????and well their are ways to call if you really want to chat i felt the same way when my husband first started going to prison but now its his choice and the way i see things if he really loves me why does he put me through this its hard for the person waiting out here and well im sure its hard in their but these people have to grow up and we cant enable them someday something will change .
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I used to get a lot of emails or comments on my prison blogs relating to prison relationships.  That's kinda odd to me because I always thought that there should be more parents involved in prison issues than girlfriends.  I mean, not every inmate has a girlfriend or wife,but everybody has a mom or dad or grandmother,right?

Still, I understand exaclty what you feel and lots of people feel the very same way.  A lot of it is that realism of separation, when someone you love has been put apart from you, and all you want is to put it back together.  It's not that easy, as you know, but I think you are going through the very initial stages of a difficult situation. 

I realize many people want their loved ones to get in touch, but lots of times they just can't because of prison rules and then there are times where they can...but can't.  What I mean by this is that just as you are going through a life-changing situation, so is he, and this can bring a lot of stress and depression to a guy in a prison FULL of stressed individuals.  It's also likely that he feels that he let his loved ones down... spoken by one who has been there.

From what I read in your comments, you seem to be taking a good approach to it, as best as can be expected.  Don't falter from that, and understnd that there are going to be a few bumps in this road.  Hang in there and keep him encouraged as best you can.

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