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SAN DIEGO—Plagued by a lack of funding and growing staff shortages,
the San Diego Zoo and Ironwood State Prison were combined earlier this
week, bringing local inmates and wildlife together for the first time
under the same roof.
The new state-of-the-art facility—which will house 12 separate cell
blocks, a reptile house, two weight rooms, and a primate sanctuary—is
expected to save the state of California up to $5 million in operation
costs over the next year.
"It is with great pride that I announce the opening of the San Diego
Maximum Security Zoological & Convict Reserve," director David
Hennessey said at an opening ceremony Tuesday. "From southern white
rhinos to repeat offenders serving 20 years for drug trafficking—you'll
find them all here at our amazing new facility."
Construction on the resource-sharing project concluded last
Wednesday, after which felons and fauna were carefully transferred to
their new joint living space. According to Hennessey, the 40-acre
facility features one of the largest collections of migratory birds,
hoofed mammals, and hardened inmates in all of North America.
"This is, without a doubt, the only facility of its kind," said
warden Jeff Thurston, noting the zoo-prison's authentic natural
environments and thick bullet-proof glass. "At any given time, visitors
may be able to spot as many as three parole violators and up to five
adult black bears in the same holding cell. During scheduled feedings,
that number may be even higher."
The San Diego complex is open to family members of convicted felons and state-appointed defense lawyers,
and is expected to help boost the city's struggling tourism industry.
Thurston said that visitors have so far responded favorably to the new
facility, with many citing the "Emperor Penguin And Solitary Confinement" exhibit
as their personal favorite.
The complex will reportedly also feature a number of "Scared
Straight" talks each week, during which young visitors will
simultaneously learn about the dangers of breaking the law, as well as
what happens when a male lowland gorilla suddenly feels threatened.
"I got to see the little baby pandas, and the monkeys, and the
zebras," said 8-year-old Michael Nayman, who was taken by his mother to
the part-zoo, part-prison compound. "And then I went and saw Daddy. But
he wasn't as much fun as the pandas. He just sat in his cage and cried
a little."
Despite a positive opening day, officials admitted that the San
Diego facility has experienced a number of setbacks. On Tuesday, a
scuffle in the shared cafeteria forced officials to fire a series of
elephant-tranquilizer shots, leaving three inmates unconscious for
days. In addition, a red-tailed Indonesian peacock was found stabbed to
death on Thursday, after a group of prisoners accused the
three-foot-tall bird of flashing colors of a rival gang in their
direction.
"We've been forced to expand our infirmary unit nearly tenfold in
the last week," chief nurse Margaret Hodge said. "Unfortunately, the
arrival of rhinoceros mating season has made things worse, leading to
the gruesome deaths of almost 50 inmates in our communal showers."
According to officials, the institution has also suffered from three
recent breakout attempts, including an ill-fated effort last Friday by
Enrique Gonzalez, 36, to scale a reticulated giraffe up and over the
compound's barbed-wire perimeter fencing. In addition, a 280-pound
Bengal tiger was accidentally granted parole after its file was
confused with that of mail-fraud convict Cole Bucholz, 47.
Since the merger, officials at San Diego Zoological & Convict
Reserve have received a record 600 requests from inmates wishing to be
transferred to another maximum-security facility. In addition,
officials have received 20 requests from inmates begging to have the
dates of their execution pushed forward.
"I've been in a number of prisons in my life, but nothing compares
to this," said inmate Casey Ingersoll, who despite previously
committing violent murders was still horrified after witnessing a
fellow convict ambushed by three Komodo dragons. "If I stay here much
longer, I'll have to join up with either the Anteaters or White
Supremacists for protection."
While many local residents support the new facility, particularly
due to the large number of jobs it has created, some have recently
spoken out against the Zoological & Convict Reserve.
"To see all those poor souls forced to live in confined living
quarters, with little to no sunlight, and no hope of freedom, it's just
so inhumane," San Diego housewife Carol Wurster said. "Those otters
deserve better."
The San Diego Zoological & Convict Reserve's formation has been
the most controvercial merger since Orlando's SeaWorld and the Ryan E.
Puttnam Mental Asylum were hastily consolidated earlier this year.
Just a little humor....have a great weekend!