When does incarceration stop?
I
get around to reading other support groups and sites, and I often read
where loved ones say, "I can't wait until he gets out, then it will all
be over"......
Really?
I think sometimes we need to
understand that incarceration is not a short time punishment, it is
closer to eternal. It is a brand on a human being of his short comings,
there to show the rest of the country that you are no longer one of the
normal citizens of this country.
It's amazing how we sometimes
talk about how we are a "forgiving" country, when I really have not
seen much proof of that. I am not even going to go into our history of
how we have treated other human beings, and try to forget that it ever
happened. So let's just stick with ex felons, and how hard it is for
them to "prove themselves" to society.
I am no Harvard or Yale
graduate, and I certainly am no lawyer, but I thought the idea of
incarceration and the prison system was to punish those who are found
guilty of breaking the law. And that punishment was, for most cases,
incarceration, which takes away your freedom from you, as well as
protecting the general public of menaces.
But here is where
things get confusing; why is it that a person who has "served his debt"
or "paid his debt to society" still being punished? If a man gets 5
years for a crime and serves that, when he is released back into
society he should be in equal standing as a person who has never been
to jail or prison......
Yes, that IS supposed to be the idea.
But
it does not work that way here. Apparently what that means is the
society gets to determine whether to further judge you guilty and make
your life a living hell, while expecting you to walk on water. This is
the kind of obstacles many ex felons will have to face when they try to
get their lives together.
So this brings us to the question, when does the incarceration really stop? The answer is an easy one...
it never does.
For
the rest of your life, a felon will always be haunted by his past,
never fully being able to get the fresh start that a "better" citizen
would have. They don't enjoy full privilges, like voting. For most, the
record becomes a problem when they try to apply for a job, or at least
a decent one. This in turn makes life harder to cope, when you need to
pay your bills like the average citizen. It is then when you realize
that you are no longer average, you are less than average.
So much for the land of the free.
Ex felons will have to learn to wear the Scarlet Letter, and learn to adjust their lives based on continual judgement....
I
pause here because I know there are readers who want to give me the
"boo hoos". Frankly, I don't give a damn about those kinda readers,
they shouldn't be reading my posts anyway.
But what I am trying
to set up in my writing here is the fact that this may well be
something a felon cannot escape, but by no means is it the end of your
life. I say that as someone who has gone through this hell, and often
times have to relive it. It isn't easy being a college grad, with great
grades, awards and other accomplishments, yet having a record. It wipes
everything good I have ever done, and replaces it with a very bad
taste. People only remember what they WANT to remember, and oftentimes
it is negative things.
But this is not a failure, no life is a
total failure if you still belive in yourself. And that is where you
begin. If every ex felon in this country has failed in life after
getting out, then I would be a liar by trying to encourage you. But
there is hope, and you have to believe that there is.
That won't
be easy for many guys and women trying to get their lives back
together. For some it will be very hard. Believe me, I can relate to
that. Sometimes I sit here thinking that maybe I should just die, so I
can quit fooling myself at how useless I am.
But then I think
about what I have tried to do to help others. One of my biggest
supports have been the fact that since I like writing, I have been able
to write hundreds and hundreds of pages of prison issues online. I know
without a doubt that I have personally helped a multitude of people
understand some about prison. So if nothing else, I have a little value.
And that is enough to move on.
Think
about that when you hit that wall, when you wonder if society will
every let you up and let you stand on your own. Remember that every
life....EVERY LIFE has meaning for good. Even some of the worst people
I have met had to have a some decency in them.
Case in point.
When I worked at a Christian radio station, I worked for a, and I use
this term very loosely, man of God. This was to me, one of the worst
examples of godliness I have ever been near, and it sickens me to talk
about this man who has been so deceptive in what he says and what he
does. This jerk paid me $3 an hour to work at his radio station, while
telling me that "the Lord is going to bless you".
While at the
same time buying a new Mercedes and new SUV every 6 months, as well as
a new home. This is the same guy that when I got paid, wrote a $75
check that BOUNCED twice. I assure you, I don't have too many good
things to say about him.
Yet because he is human, there has to
be some good in him. So much so that I have though often that if I
died, and on Judgement Day if God Himself told me that this "pastor"s
fate hung by my decision of how I felt about him, I would have mercy.
Because I would hope for the same from someone else.
So
no one is totally evil, we all make mistakes, some greater than others.
And if them, why not you? A felon is still a person, and ever person is
a vessel to do good. Don't ever give up on yourself.