Prison Place

I was arrested at least 11 times between the ages of 24 and 36.  The last time I was arrested, the judge and my probation officers were tired of seeing my face....so...I received 4 yrs 8 months in prison.  I was lucky in that I had a judge who recognized that I had a drug problem and that all my crimes were related to that.  I was sent to California Rehab Center in Norco in 1991.  The "N" number program (civil addicts) doesn't work for everyone, but, for me it worked the first time. It is a 9 month  drug program that you do instead of your long prison sentence.  I was a 36 year old drug addict, with 3 children at home.  I had a wonderful childhood with caring and responsible parents, and I couldn't understand why I was so messed up.  I missed my kids, I wanted more and I vowed I was never coming back to jail or prison of any kind.  I think that was why my life since then has been so successful.  I was ready to quit using.  I came home after doing 13 months in county jail and the program.  Yes, I was scared to death...scared of living a life that was brand new, scared of going back, scared of failing.  It was an awful feeling.  So, what I did was take baby steps.  And that is so important.  Jumping right back in to a full life, working full time, which I had never done before...........that was not going to work for me.  I had no confidence in my abilities, which comes from years of drug abuse.  So, I moved in with my skeptical mother, God bless her.  I got my kids back from their Aunt and Uncles house and I stayed home.  I went no where except to my required NA meetings and to the Parole office.  That was it.  I did that for about 3 months.  I then enrolled in a semester of junior college...just taking classes part time.  And I stayed home.  I studied and went to school, my meetings and the parole office.  After the first 6 months of school, I went back as full time and I got a job at the school part time.  All of these little steps built my confindence to succeed.  I graduated from college with an AS in computer science, then got a part time job away from the college.  I transfered to the University and for a year, I attended University, working and living my life.  It had been about 6 years at this point since I had been released from CRC.  I applied for a job with our county government and after explaining why I was in prison, how long ago it had been and successfully completing parole...they hired me.  So, here we are 16 years later.  I look back on that period in my life and it is like looking at someone I don't know....I hope this helps anyone who has a loved one in prison that they are worried that life will never turn around for them.  It absolutely can...Or for anyone who has just been released and you are scared!!!  BE SCARED!!!  That fear might be what it takes to keep you out.  God Bless.....

Thanks for sharing, Debbie.  I knew some of this from you being in the KVSP group, but I wasn't aware of it all.  Congrats to you for getting your priorities set and then sticking to them.  You might think your two sons are doing well because of them watching their older brother's problems and prison stays.  I think it's also due to you and what you showed them could be accomplished when a person FINALLY gets a little help. Kudos - success stories are so wonderful to hear!!  

thanks TerryAnn:  You know I really do believe that having addiction problems is part genetic and part your environment.  I know my oldest never saw me do drugs (I hid it well) but I was not the most hands on parent either.  He pretty much did what he wanted to do, when he wanted to do it.  Not enough supervision for him.  Then I was gone for a year.  He had no Dad from the age of 4...no one to be a role model for him that was with him all the time.  I beat myself up with guilt for awhile after I got home, then...I stopped doing that.  By the time he had 2 prison terms down, I knew that if he did not learn the social lessons about right and wrong when he was young from me...He should have learned them from society after 2 terms...so it was not my problem any longer...it was his.  As for my two youngest...they were too young to remember anything...only little bits and pieces.  What they remembered most of all was from the time I got home onward.  They remember hearing constantly..."where are you going, who are you going with, when will you be home, give me a phone number, let me talk to your friends parents, let me look at your homework, ect ect ect."  hahaha...I drove them nuts.  But seriously...being a role model for them, (and I was both Mom and Dad to them also) keeping on them so they didn't stray off the path too far to get back on it, that was the difference.

Thank you!  I am glad to hear about your success!