Do You Have a Brother or Sister in Jail?

This is my first time making a post on here. It is late and basically I am up trying to find some advice online about how to deal with my sister being in prison. She is not eligable for parole until 2021. She is only 24yrs old. She is in for murder so theres no guarantee she will get out then. I am the oldest of three she is the baby. I just have so many feelings. I feel guilty in a way because I think I could have done more to prevent this from happaning. She commited this crime on drugs and alcohol and had a lot of mental problems. She tried to check her self into rehab the month that this happaned and was denied. I just wish I could have done more to help her get off drugs because she would never had done this sober. I tried to help her but I really did not know what to do at the time and I was so busy with school and work and starting a family. I now have two sons that she may never see outside of prison and she has a son whose father refuses to let her see. She has not seen him for 3 years. I keep having dreams about her dying and of us as kids. In a way I guess it feels like she is dead because we cant do anything as a family again. We cant even be in the same room again because she is only allowed 3 visitors at a time. I miss her so much. She was always such a sweet and quiet girl. We played together like all sisters do and I just remember her as this sweet innocent thing and not a monster that the media tries to make her out to be. It is so hard. Does anyone have any advice for me on how to deal with the guilt and on how to keep a relationship with my sister? I would appreciate any advice...

 

hello cindy so sorry to hear about your sister just got your story on web I dont come here alot not alot of people talking here,my son Donald was given life for a crime he did not do and I spent many days feeling guilt and wondering if I raiesd him wrong feeling like if I did a better job he would not have gone out that night and all this would not have happened,but after 8 years I have come to know that he made his own mind up and went some where he was not suposed to go.All the guilt in the world will not help him,but what does is standing with him as he goes thru this,knowing I love him and will never stop is what he needs.Honey I know its hard and I know what your going thru but what you can do is stand with her keep loving her and let her know no matter what you will not give up on her,so many people are forgot about after time and they go thru this with out any one to love them,so keep writing and telling her you love her no matter what see her when you can and never give up hope we never know what will happen in life,and she may come home someday,and she will love you all the more for staying by her side.I have a web site People for justice at www.care2.com please come join with us there and we can talk more God bless and my prayers are with you JoAnn...

< Hi all new to the site and I do have a brother in prison. He lived with me most of his life because he is mentally challanged. I miss him so much and my mom and dad are having a really hard time with it because they think they will die before they see him out again. Allen had never been in trouble in his life but one day with a woman he had never met only talked with on the phone, brought our world to a spin. We miss him so much and he is always depressed because I am the only one who writes so he don`t get many letters. I have contacted alot of people on this even Gov. Riley but everyone has turned a deaf ear as if they know he is innoncent but don`t care. If anyone knows of a site where I can get people to write that doesn't cost please let me know so I caan get him some letters coming in. That would be so wonderful! Thanks for reading.       Big Sis   Lynn

Hello Lynn I know what it is to fell that your world is caming to a end, my only brother was send to jail after serving his country in the army and never beeing in trouble before, sorry to here that your parents are not doing well. my parents dont think they will never see my brother out of jail either but I LIKE TO TELL TO TO TRUST GOD he will set him free. We will pray for you.

Hello my name is Brenda and my brother was send to jail in July 2005 he was sentence to serve 13 years for fighting with his ex-wife, now IM NOT trying to excuse him for waht he did it was wrong and he deserves to be punish for it, but he had just come back from war after serving 18 moths over seas, he was a mess like any other soldier that has serve and my sister in law had cheated with anyone she could think..... and spend his money with this man, she confornted my brother and they whent there ways, but she chase him hunted him every day until she confess him my niece was being molested by one of the guys she dated. he went crazy and hurt her... Now i dont expect anybody to understan my situacion, but I beg you to try to help me and think of me as a desper sister who has sold everything I OWN TO HELP HER ONLY BROTHER. I think 13 years its just a long time to punish anybody, my sister in law confess in court how she drove him nuts and even poison him but the judge did not here her, I have help her during this 3 years financially and she is after all the mother of my nieces, she spends a lot of time in my hause and is sorry for what she did,,, now Im not God and can forgive her for all the pain she has brough to our family but what do I do. ? do i trow her on the street with my nieces do I punish them for something they didnt do? I go and see my brother every weekend and spend so many days writhing letters and crying for my luck. I know im not the only one out there who has suffer and is crying over a brother or sister, I live in california and cant afford to hire a attorney to plead the time he was given but if anybody know how can I get a defence attorney to plead the time, or to get a probono attorney please tell me? PLEASE MY MOTHER was just diagnose with Canser in her stomach and I want her to see him out of that place before God call her. I pray and beg GOD EVERYDAY for all the inmates in every jail... Gos bless us all.

 Brenda,

What city and State are you in? I would like to see if I can find an organization to assist your brother 

Thank you for trying to help me Im in Los Angeles . CA and my brother went to tryal in Down town LA. Now he is serving his sentence in Salinas Valley state Prison...God bless you

 One of our website partners is The California Innocence Project. Their website is

http://www.cwsl.edu/main/default.asp?nav=cip.asp&body=cip/home.asp

Please contact them and they may be able to help give you direction to get a sentence review

Hello Brenda so sorry to here about your brother giving him 13 years is just not right,but I live in CA and thats what they do my boy was given 25L for a crime he did not do and have been fighting for 8 years to get him home.People make mistakes and sounds like your brother was under to much stress,and he should never have been given 13 years.My heart goes out to you.Helping your sister inlaw is a wonderful thing I no that must be hard,but you are right the kids are most inportant and taking care of them is the right thing to do.Finding a brobono attorney is very hard I have been trying for 7 years and if there out there I dont no where they are.I have a web site set up for my son and have lots of info on it that I have found and you can come on to it and get any thing I have on it.Its called people for justice its at www.care2.com please stop by and I will go thru the site and see if there is some help for you there.So sorry about your mom I will says some prayers for her.Standing by your brother and being there for him means the world to him and you are helping him by being there for him,hang in there and I Am here for you,God bless Jo Ann...

Thank you very much for your kind words, its been so dificult for me and my parents to deal with this, sometimes I wish that GOD had not allow my brother to come back from war, for what? to be fill with pain .. who knew that the enemy was not the one he held his weapon to but his own wife the one who promise for better or for worse, in sickness and in health.. I been CHRISTIAN all my life and I wonder why are we beeing punish like this, dose GOD NOT HERE OUR PRAYERS dose HE NOT CARE WHAT WE SUFFER, I dont know how long more i can do this Im soo tyred and I have soo much sadness.... Thank you for all your prayers.

hello Brenda I know how you are feeling I live with the sadness every day my boy was given life and he is innocent and we have been thru alot in the last 7 years,but I try and just take one day at a time,its hard but we get thru.God does here our prayers and he does care about you and your brother,I have many days when I dont no whats up but I go and read my bible and just let God take my pain.God does not want your brother in prison its man that wants this and why these thing happen I can not tell but I do no that in the end he will make things right.When the sadness gets to great take your mind away from it for a time look back at the good times you had with him and let your mind rest for awhile.I Am here for you and will keep you in my prayers,stop by my web padge there are things there that might help you.www.care2.com people for justice.Hang in there you are not alone JoAnn.