I am starting this to discuss what we should be teaching our kids about sex, how hard it is on them when their brother or sister is in jail, our prison relationship etc., so feel free to post! Maybe there is something we can learn from each other.
Bye, Ro
this is actually a good topic.
teaching our kids about sex is not so easy. Especially when they kids are being taught in school. I think they came out with more knowledge then i did when i was in school.
this is actually a great topic, and I do have experience here so I thought I would share. I have 3 sons. My oldest was 18 when he went to prison the first time. His little brothers were 10 and 11. My oldest has a drug problem. His little brothers saw him go in and out of prison's over and over again the whole time they were growing up. I never tried to hide what the story was. They knew that their brother had a drug problem and would do criminal things to get money to support his habit. I took the brothers to visit my oldest whenever I could. It was something we did for years. My two youngest sons have never been in trouble, have never had any problems with drugs or alcohol. When they were about 17 and 18, they decided they didn't want to make long trips to prisons all over California. My youngest is now 22 and he has not seen his brother for about 5 years. The middle son is 23 and he goes with me to see his brother about 1 time a year. They love their brother, they just don't have time in their lives to devote to someone who can never get their *** together (so they say). So, I think in this instance being honest with them, and taking them to the prison set up made a positive thing happen for them. They never wanted to be where their brother was........ and actively took steps to make sure that didn't happen, like staying away from drugs and alcohol, finishing school, getting a good job.
I never specify with my children, why their father is in prison. I just tell them he made bad choices, and that they need to make better choices. I feel no need to explain further, as my kids don't need a negative picture of their father, they just need to realize that he's in there. I also make sure that they understand that the relationship betwen their father and I has nothing to do with them at all, and just because we aren't together, doesn't mean their dad doesn't love them. My kids are young, so sex is not a topic I have hit on yet. However, I raise my kids to ask questions, and if they have any, I try to answer as honestly as I can for their age range (7 and 9). No sense being dishonest with them, because I don't expect dishonesty in return. What should we teach our kids? Love, respect, integrity, honesty, loyalty, and love of the world around them.
SGV