Please! I need to hear from others who have met their mates while they were incarcerated. It's a lonely life! Talk to me. And peace and strength to you all.
Hey NileMusiq,
I too met my man while incarcerated. I know exactly what a lonely life this is. I'd love to chat anytime. It appears there's not a lot of us on here huh?
We should start a CHAT group....meet once a week.
Thank you! You are so right, it took a Iong time for someone to respond so it looks like there is a small number here. For immediate feedback or support try Prison Talk too. They get kinda rambunctious there and give advice that will make you rich from a lawsuit if they were professional but it helps when you need sommething immediate. I think starting a chat is a great idea! I get off at 3:15 and I would be available by 5:00 onto anytime later. What's your schedule like? my email I see all day and at work is rowena61@msn.com. I can't get to these kinds of site during the day.
I'm also at myspace.com/nilemusiq. My baby and I are writing a book and I have an excerpt there. Hey, I think I will post it here. I like this site because it is one of serious meditation. Let's stir up some support. Hit me back soon!
Thank you too! You are so right, it took a long time for someone to respond so it looks like there is a small number here. I told Treana that if you get desperate and need immediate feedback or support try Prison Talk too. They get kinda rambunctious there and give advice that will make you rich from a lawsuit if they were professional but it helps when you need something immediate. I think starting a chat is a great idea! I get off at 3:15 and I would be available by 5:00 onto anytime later. What's your schedule like? my email I see all day and at work is rowena61@msn.com. I can't get to these kinds of site during the day. Treana had the same idea and we can get with her to find a common time. Hang in there!
hey yall! i'm vickie from mississippi and i met my hubby while he was inside. we met through a pen pal site for inmates. i never went into it to find a mate, just to help someone have a better day. i had almost given up writing any more, had removed my name from the lists, and somehow his letter slipped through the cracks. we wrote for over a year before we met in a non-contact visit in texas where he is currently incarcerated. it was at that moment that we knew we had found something special.
we continued to write, eventually deciding to marry. since we wanted him to parole to mississippi, we were married by proxy on feb. 14th, 2006. since then we have learned that it is really hard to go through the interstate compact process, so i moved to texas so he can have a local address. he comes up for parole again in may 2008, and we are praying for a yes answer.
i know all about the looks, the comments we get when people learn not only are we married to someone in prison, but that we met them while they were on the inside. my hubby and i now get contact visits, and holding hands and hugs at the begining and end of our visit is all the contact we've had. i so look forward to him coming home, but i am also scared to death! this is a man i've never spent time with alone, never dated, slept with...nothing. just an endless supply of letters. we have talked about everything known to man, and i feel i know him as i've never known anyone before. his crime was not violent, so i'm not afraid for that reason. it's just that i have commited so much of my life to this, and there are so many "what ifs". if you feel this same way, please let me know, so i don't feel so alone in this. thanks yall.
*VICKIE & RONNIE*
Hi Ronniesgirl! I am glad to hear from you. No ma'am you are not alone. i just went thru it today. Friends trying to spread my biz in a subtle way cuz she has a good husband. The disdain she has for me being in love w/a prisoner, so i play alot but she is always trying to figure out my situation.
it gets on your nerves, but people will be people. I am totally in love w/this man and lord it is a thing to ponder! yes, i think about what is going to happen when we meet, and he comes home to me because he has told his family he is in love and he is not playing.
It is healthy to be scared and i tell him my fears, guess what? They aren't going to go away until it is actually happens. As long as you don't let fear keep you from exploring your chance at true love you will be alright. keep talkig to us girl. treanns is a great person too. i hope to hear from her annd we can get a chat going on soon.
keep in touch.
WE MET THREW A FRIEND.IT HAS BEEN GREAT,
I met my husband 15 years ago when he was inside and on February 25th we'll celebrate 14 years of marriage. It's not easy to be married to a lifer (he wasn't a lifer when we married and we had 10 years on the streets), but he's the other half of me and always will be.
is there anyone in va in this chat room? anyone at keen mountain?
Hi NileMusiq:
I just joined PrisonPlace today and ran across your message. It's so great to know there are other people in my shoes. I met my man a few years ago through a friend of my cousin's. His friend was looking for a penpal. We wrote and visited for about 2 years and then stopped because I had met someone on the outside and had a baby with them, but things didn't work out. I started writing my friend again almost a year ago and have visited him a few times, he's even asked me to marry him. But he still has 10 years before he's up for parole, and even then, knowing how the BPP is, I doubt if he'll make it. Well, I thought everything was going good with us, but then I got a letter from him yesterday saying that I wasn't standing up for him because I didn't tell my family much about him and basically ending it with me. You're right, not many people out here understand why someone would fall in love with someone who was incarcerated, but I do truly feel like he is my Soul Mate. He has never asked me to wait for him and even knows that I might date out here, which I don't do much of (by choice), but then he tells me I have no intention of waiting for him. :( I'm doing my best out here, writing all the time, visiting when I can, etc. What else can I do???? I'm totally devastated because I do love him. I wrote him back and told him that he's not being fair to me. I'm hoping he'll reconsider. Anyway, it is nice to hear from others, because y'all are the only ones who get it. Thanks for posting!
I am so happy to meet you, michele. i haven't posted for a minute because i am going through the exact thing you are with a few differences. I was offered the same freedom from my man and I never thought of dating, but it gets lonely and my man comes up for parole in five years! so this december I met a nice man and we have talked via phone and email. then i gott this letter from Courtney telling me he wants me to meet his famiy, and I better not be flirting with any men on the web and because I didn't want to date the offer was off the table. I was so stunned. waiting for someone in prison is a very complex thing. of course I gently told him off, but i gave us a month of a break and he is lost and broken down but still does not want me to date. I am taking it one day at a time, as you should because emotions fly high during the holidays and even more so back and forth for inmates. he will undoubtably change his mind, just be patient with him as he was patient with you during your last divide. incidently man gentleman is from Africa and we have stopped communicating because it is too difficult..and he is not my sweetie.
I guess they think that putting you with their family cements the realtionship, so please keep in touch with me so we can cry on each other's shoulders because i know i am going to get blasted...for I said I was not ready. I am not. It is good to talk to someone who clearly understands. Welcome to Prison Place...
You're so right, NileMusiq, it is very difficult. I really care for him and I'd love to have a relationship on the outside, but it will be quite awhile before he is out, so it's not really fair of me to commit to someone whom I've only known on the inside. What happens when he does eventually get out and it doesn't work out? I'm sure you and others in our situation fully understand what I'm talking about. We have always had the understanding that I wasn't waiting on him, that if I did meet someone, I was free to pursue it, but now it's coming back on me. Even though I'm not dating anyone. A big reason why is I'm tired of the BS, and now here I am getting it from him!!!! I just feel like giving up altogether sometimes and just being single the rest of my life. I've already been married once and that didn't work and had a relationship that didn't work out, but resulted in a beautiful daughter, maybe that's all I get in this lifetime. I'm sure God has something planned for me, but I'm not a very patient person. Another reason why it's hard being in love with someone in prison. I want him out and I want him out now!
I also write an ex-bf, who I reconnected with through the other guy. He showed his friend a picture of me and it turned out to be an ex from 20 years ago!!!! He's been in almost 17 years and has been denied parole 5 times. He is up again in October and will hopefully be coming home next January or so. He wants to hook up when he gets out, but I haven't promised him anything. They each know about the other, so that could be why TJ (the first one) is saying the things he is. It really a hard decision because Franky gets out sooner, but I'd choose TJ over him, and he knows that. Luckily, they're not in the same unit anymore. So, like you said, I'm just taking one day at a time. Thanks for the ear and hope to hear back from you.
Michele, it is a paradox! It is somethig to consider and i have not allowed Courtney to place me in a corner, this is my life we are talking about! He will have no choice but to go back to being that understanding man that knew the enormity of what he is asking me. Still they are beautiful! But with two marriages under my belt, i wan the mann God has sent me.
Right, they don't realize what they are asking of us. We are out here, among the living, and our lives go on, though their's have basically stopped. I'm not saying that to be mean, it's just reality. I have also been through a bad marriage and relationship, so I'm not jumping into another one. Plus, I have told him to let's see how it goes over the next few months. Also, I have children, and have to consider that. He did ask me at my last visit if he could parole to my house (though it might be 10 years and who knows where we'll be then) and I told him not if my children are there. I don't know if that made him mad or what. But, I do have to take my kids into consideration and their dads aren't exactly thrilled that I have contact with someone in prison. I took my daughter once when she was a few months old and her dad went ballistic!!!! My son has gone, but he's a little older. I mainly took him so he could see where he DOESN"T want to end up. Well, he should have gotten my letter yesterday or today in response to his letter blowing me off. We'll see if he writes back. Keep your fingers crossed for me and I'll do the same for you. Until next time, Michele :)