Prison Place

My best friends brother was in prison in OKlahoma. He got with a married CO. She left her husband and four kids to be with him when he got out. she use to bring him stuff while he was in too.  They didn't last long after he got out ,they did get married.  Then he goes back and gets another CO he gets out in a couple months and they have stoped seeing eachother maybe she knows prison is like Vegas what happens there stays there. I hope and pray that  they stay away from my husband. I don't know what kind of girls work where your guys are at, but where mine is the COs look like every other girl. They wear all kinds of make up, and do their hair ,what the hell is up with that nosie??   My husband had been in almost ten years we don't see eathoher often because of the distance and i worry. I don't think in a normal circumstance he would cheat on me but men are men and when you have some girl pretty or not all up on you...its like the last chick at the bar at closen time people thay don't care what she looks like their not going to marry her. He says no ,and i can only believe him. I know i haven't cheated but as easy as it would be for us to with them never knowing, they can do it too. What it comes down to is trust ,faith ,and love. If you don't have that no matter where you are your lost.....

Well, evrybod has an opinion. Mine is that i expect a man to be loyal to me on the streets as well as locked up. If you are being faithful to him then you should expect faithfulness from him.

The thing with this whole hot topis is expectations almost always have little to do with reality and human frailty. The greatest thing is to always check if you are giving and reecieving unconditional love!

If you are happy, doesn't matter what others think. 

 

California prisons have gone to strictly using outside vendors for the inmates Quarterly Packages.  You have to order from the approved vendors, and they all have separate websites.  There is prisongifts.com, Access Secure Pack, and a few others.  They do not allow ANY packages from home any more, it will be returned, unless it is his clothing to go home in, and you can't even send that until less than 30 days before release.

Now....on the other topic...LOL.... Those guards are doing a JOB, and actually doing anything with inmates is few and far between.  There may  be a few shady ones that the inmates can manipulate, or that think that they can abuse their power, but overall, most female C.O's are family women that are just there to do their jobs.  I don't stress it because I figure, I trust my man.  If I didn't, I'd find someone else.

 

I have always had good luck with Access Secure Pack. They deliver fast and there website is easy to use...

Hello NileMusiq

To the best of my knowledge, all city & county jails, state, & federal prisons have strict written policies against COs sexually grabbing, or fondling inmates, let alone getting in a sexual liaison with them.   Inmates in the past had successfully filed suit against prisons for tolerating, or allowing an atmosphere where COs can engage in liaison with prisoners without fear of termination, or prosecution for violating an inmate's basic Constitutional rights.  I Googled the term "prison rape," and one of the sites that came up was a litigation case involving a female inmate who was coerced to give oral to male COs.  When she was released, she found an attorney who would take her case "pro-bono," (free of charge unless she wins), filed a lawsuit against the state prison, & won a huge award.  Based on this case, every jail and prisons across the country instituted policies to terminate & possibly prosecute COs who abuse their position of authority.  If what he says is true, the female CO is subject to immediate termination, and possible prosecution for using her position of authority to entice an inmate into a liaison with her. 

One way to challenge the validity of his claim, is to ask for her full name, and tell him you'll file a formal complaint with the prison's Ombudsman.   If he won't give her full name, and the date this alleged incident took place, then he's just playing mind games to see if you'd get jealous, as he had reacted when you mentioned Pierre. The prison has a formal system to file a complaint and initiate an internal investigation into the validity of a complaint.  If you're not content with the outcome of how the Ombudsman handled your writtten complaint, is when you can appeal to bring in a Federal agency to investigate your complaint.  I'm not sure on who to appeal to, but I'm guessing the federal GSA (General Services Administration) might have jurisdiction, because most jails and state prisons get part of their funding from the federal government.  The GSA investigates wasteful spending, or practices that may lead to impending lawsuits.  Because $$$ paid out on settlements come from the prison's budget, the GSA would be concerned; part of the prison's $$$$ funding comes from the federal government.  

His hostile reaction to your mention of Pierre reveals serious insecurity & maturity issues.  Its indicative that he's a possessive type of person, who would possibly forbid you to see casual male friends & coworkers.  His volatile temper is a clue he may be physically & verbally abusive. 

 

Hi Passingtrucker,

I hope you are having a great week. I wanted to respond to you when I got some down time. The thing in weighting what he has to say is really not the foundation. The foundation is the truth and seeing what goes on from the inside out. I do prison ministry and I was a jail laision, so this phenomenon is real! It happens everyday, and if the system was at the optimum level it couldn't stop it all even then.

We would not have all the rapes and abuses of inmate on inmate and officer and vice versa. For a person to see anything else after working in the system is pure foolishness. Most of this known up high, but because of the implications it is not closely looked at until it spills out into the media. And then the tendency is to protect the protectrs. So I am just talking general practice...and when CO'd do get caught, they are dealt a swift and devestating blow. Neverless it happens all the time. Courtney is no liar anyway or exaggerator..you would have to know him. That is what I love about him the most.

Yes he is jealous, lol. The best way I dealt w/that is by letting him know we were no longer in a relaltionship. It was hard but it made me start living life out here.

well actually i have a friend that her mom was a co and ended up having a reltionship with an inmate then had problems it happens more than u think attractive men dont think like that they think *** lol their in prison..........alot happens alot.

I agree with your comment.  I expect him to be faithful the same as I have.  Where is your guy?  It would be nice to find a group of people to carpool with.  I'm in IL. 

 Have a good day.

hey my email is liggett.diana@yahoo.com i have a myspace account if you ever want to chat ya my husband is in wasco for now i dont know where he will be doing his time though california prison.

OH HELL NO!  After reading this thread I see that I will find myself worrying about this. I have ummm 6 years to go. His time hasnt even started yet let me add. He is still awaiting for TDCJ pick up. Will I make it? Question: Has this ever happened to anyone on here (thier loved one in a relationship with a co) and you found out about it? How did you find out and what are the consequences for both of them? I'm new to this site so please forgive me for anything I might do wrong.

 

 

Thank you

Hey I have been with my man for about 6 years. He tells me about the COs expecially the women, so that I know whats going on. I know for a fact that if the CO's get caught having a relationship with an inmate there are MAJOR repercussions. Plus the inmate gets in MUCHO MUCHO MUCHO trouble! They could possibly put him in ADSEG or give him more time. Neither one is a good option. When it comes to these types of relationships you have to have a basis of trust with the person. Love him, without fear.

Thank you so much dear heart for taking the time to answer my silly question. Well, I must say I felt relieved after reading your response. Of all the billions of questions I have Iook at the one that shot out on my first day here. I'm so losing it already huh? lol. My guy and I are not married yet, I'm still in the process of "looking into it"  I have a very important question that needs to be answered before I go ahead with our proxy.... Can anyone direct me to the legal section on this site? If there is one.  Thank you again in advance.

 ~Karina

 You are welcome!

 

Just remember, somethings are not worth worrying about. Negative thoughts bring negativity! Why even focus on that subject whether he is in or out? It doesn't make one focus on what is really going on. That is where we all must put our energy. I am now in a relationship with a wonderful man out here in society and I can't even worry about that with him or I will make myself go crazy!!!!!!!!

Just concentrate on love, and the issues at hand , and that is enough for now!!!!!!

 

 LOL, No I will not add to negativity, and I apologize if I added any fuel to the fire. YOU must concentrate on bringing positivity to your life and his if you are in love with him and want to maintain sanity!!!!!   All has been well with me and mine....I just wanted a love that I could casll my own OUT here because I owed it to self and my children!!!!!