There comes a time where you sometimes have to step back out of the box and view what is going on in your life.
Mine has been turning into a mini-episode of "Daily Grind". That is what it should be called. 3 weeks into my husband being home today, we have been having things jumpin' off already this week. I have been dealing with my father and his family lately. A handful of my uncles and aunts are getting sick, and things haven't been going well, with one of my uncles. My father's oldest brother has been in the hospital a little over a month. He suffered from a heart attack first and then a stroke. The other night my father called me sounding scared, and told me that the doctors had called the family up to the hospital that night, like my uncle wasn't going to make it. He was obviously upset because of the poor treatment my uncle had been receiving at the hospital even though he has no insurance. Which resulted in my father fussing at the people at the hospital. Needless to say they finally moved my uncle to ICU, and my father says that he seems to be doing a little better since the move.
My father wants me to go with him to see him this Saturday. Now, the next story is crazy as well. My husband and I were at his brother's house yesterday, I took the brother's girlfriend to the doctor while my husband stayed with his brother at the house. My husband's sister, mother and another brother lives about a block down from where this brother lives at. I thought that my husband would go down there and at least speak, while he was in the area, but he didn't. I guess he didn't even feel like being bothered with them yesterday. So after leaving the brother's house, we get home and last night his sister calls and says that his mother is in the hospital. I know that his mother and other family members have been angry at the fact that he is not around them 24-7, and that he came home to me, but that is TOUGH! They are part of the reason that he has stayed in and out of prison for years. Now he said to me that this is her way of trying to get sympathy and attention. He is not even concerned. However, no matter how much I dislike his mother, I don't want on my conscious any ill will, if she is indeed sick. My husband is her baby, but he is grown too, and it seems that he has come home, not having any patience with this family at all this time. I notice that when I take him over there and drop him off, he hurries up and calls me back, and when I do pick him up, he is quite irritated and annoyed with them. I have been trying to tell him that all along. But you know people have to really open their eyes and see it for themselves.
Also I am wanting to just knock my sons OUT!! Esp. with my eldest son. Even though my husband is there now to take up the slack in that area, and has been staying on them both, they have still been getting on my nerves. To top EVERYTHING off I have ALOT on my plate, with trying to move us into something comfortable, get us a new bed, make sure I keep my car up so that we can have transportation, keeping food in the house, just all kinds of mess. So I am becoming stressed out, for real. Something that I don't need with this diabetes that I have. Yesterday, while I was with my husband's brother's girlfriend, she was just going on and on, about how my husband's mother does not like me, and always says something bad about me. It kind of made me mad because I never done anything to her, and if ANYONE should be mad it should be ME!! Her and the rest of them tried to take advantage of me, and use me up like they have done my husband and I wasn't going to let that happen. Yet she always says something nasty about me behind my husband and my back. So I am just listening to the brother's girlfriend go on and on, just listening and not saying much. I don't like sh** like that. This is why I stay away from stuff like that. I don't need the drama in my life. I just want my family together, and if he chooses to be with his family then that is something that HE is going to have to deal with. Not me. Just like I don't expect him to deal with mine, because I don't even fool with mine.
These last few days have been something else. I know one thing, it is all stressing me out. I can feel it in my shoulders, and that is not good, when I have diabetes. Well, no one said that things were going to be perfect, but I feel like I am beginning to get too old for all this stress.
Well, my husband and I have been home together for 2 weeks now, and trust me it has been crazy!!
February 4th, 2009' at 12:01am, my husband was released from Fairfax County Adult Detention Center in Fairfax, VA.(Northern VA). It has been a rocky start, since he has been home. We are all still trying to readjust, and by Monday passed, I was already, ready to give up. That is how crazy it has been. We have argued already I know about 3 times within the 2 weeks.One thing that I can say, is that we are still exercising our communication, which is why I haven't totally given up just yet. I am happy though that my baby has finally gotten his freedom. But some of the old temptations are lingering. Including the bad vibes from his family. I went and snatched my baby up, so that they couldn't get to him, and right now all that they can do is call him on his cellphone. THAT'S IT! He will no longer be taking care of none of them. I know that they don't like that, but I don't care. They used him and me ENOUGH! I see that, that topic will always be a bad topic of discussion with us. My husband has met my father, and the problem will be meeting my mother. She poses the most problem. I really don't care about that though with her, because I am GROWN. And so is my husband. If she doesn't like it, oh well. I am too old now to be hiding things from her, for fear that she won't like something. This is the SAME woman who put me out in the street big and pregnant with my eldest son, and I have been on my own ever since, and have never returned to her house. The only thing I think that we can do now is take things one day at a time, and learn how to understand each other.
That is our biggest problem. We are still learning how to overcome those kinds of obstacles. I experienced a serious meltdown Monday, which I felt like I couldn't do this, I couldn't be a wife, I wanted to be done with it. This was all because within these 2 weeks, he has driven me nuts, and it seemed as if we were headed for a repeat performance of the things that drove us apart years ago.[:'(]So, again there are many things that we still have to work on, before things can get better. I hope that things will have calmed down in a month or so, probably not, but all I can do is hope.