Nolaw97 - All Comments

re: Prison 101: Communication (edited)

5yrnoparole — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 01:16:55 GMT

Thanks I write to him but sometimes I don't kno what to write....

re: #144 Prison Love: Hanging on or letting go (new)

5yrnoparole — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 00:55:56 GMT

You were speaking what you believed was the truth and I respect that.....I have a question..............me and my bf meet in dec. We were just friends at the time... but we spent a lot of time together and shared a lot of intimate moments together...he got arrested in march. When he got locked up and was in jail for 3 weeks is when he asked to be with me so we've been together since then..but I'm starting to question if we would be together if he didn't get arrested.......in oct. He got 5 yrs with no parole..now he says I'm the best thing that happened to him and he's making plans for the future..... I don't know what to do....

re: #144 Prison Love: Hanging on or letting go (new)

downtheline — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 02:06:40 GMT

Fantastic blog and very important. I am in the middle of a relationship that has been 25 years in the making. I met my guy when we were teenagers and there has been something between us ever since. There is so much I could write but I won't at this point; I am kind of tired but I wanted to share a thought or two.

I love him, have tried not to love him and STILL love him. He told me not too long ago that he now knows God sent me for him. There are days where patience runs thin and it is hard to hold on. You see, he loves me but because of his life (and some other factors I imagine) he isn't yet willing to make a 'real' commitment. So patience is thin for me right now and sometimes I just want to let go, thinking that it might be easier. BUT...I love him, truly love him, so I PRAY and I listen to the Lord and I hold on.

I can see myself in parts of your blog and I thank you for the fresh perspective. I have to remind myself once in a while that his world isn't the same as mine right now; it isn't as simple as living in different states. So this was a very timely blog and I am glad I read it...thank you!

re: Cell Door is still open (new)

Nolaw97 — Wed, 07 Oct 2009 14:52:13 GMT

Hi, I took a moment to send you a comment via conversation, to kinda give you an idea of some of the things i went through. You know, I think the best way to start is something you are already doing, which is curiousity. That kinda shows a desire to do something, which is a great step. I can't give you too many ideas because it has to be at your pace. But I think it has to center around some idea that we have to trust that God CAN do good things for us, if we trust Him. Lots of people like to think that bad things are God's way of teaching us a lesson, but that isn't always true...in fact rarely true. I know I can't speak as an expert, but I do believe that to get a little more spiritual requires only a desire to know God more. You don't have ot read 1000 verses a day, just whatever you are led to do. I am more than willing to blog more thoughts if necessary, anything to help. I hope it at least gives you a starting point. My very best wishes.

re: Cell Door is still open (new)

candicejaeci — Wed, 07 Oct 2009 11:57:41 GMT

hey its me again... i just LOVE the fact that u are willing to type untill your fingers go numb {LOL] to help us... i admire that.. and honestly i hated to hear you were having a bad day like that... but u brought it back.... thats awesome!!! im just wondering if u can help me to be as spritual as u are or atleast some of what you are but in my own way... lord knows i need it....

re: Cell Door is still open (new)

candicejaeci — Wed, 07 Oct 2009 11:57:39 GMT

re: #144 Prison Love: Hanging on or letting go (new)

candicejaeci — Wed, 07 Oct 2009 11:41:41 GMT

I just want to say u spoke nothing but the truth here... that is all we women want is loyalty and respect. I guess your right, the ONLY THING i have left is faith... Ive told him i wanted to nd the relationship so he could "get his head in the game" and learn something.. but he keeps saying he needs me to be here for him.. then that goes back to where u said inates fear of loosing a loved one then all they have to prove is to prision. kinda bobbled here... i just feel ifi leave him in there hanging then he wll shut down and then that means he will have to flatten his time... 3yrs.... he gaduates his program in jan.2010... just right around the corner... UUGGGHHH!!! its just so frustrating cause that is what i want to do, lethim go so he can prove to me he has changed but at the same time im scared to do so... i honestly believe i shouldnt of went this far with the relationship, as what u spoke of in the beggining... to late for that now... i do want him to change but 4 himself. so then he can be a better partner in a relationship.. possibly ours...........

re: #144 Prison Love: Hanging on or letting go (new)

candicejaeci — Wed, 07 Oct 2009 11:41:13 GMT

re: #138 Help me, my son is in prison! (retro blog)

waitingonhim — Fri, 11 Sep 2009 23:29:13 GMT

Great post!!

re: Sharing thoughts about prison

waitingonhim — Sun, 30 Aug 2009 21:54:57 GMT

You will be in my prayers. May God bless you!! And we thank you for all you do for us and don't even know us. But you take the time to share things we truly need to hear and get us through it all.

re: Prison Release Anxiety (edited from prison blog)

waitingonhim — Sun, 30 Aug 2009 02:38:40 GMT

Another great post!! And it was not to long for me, to me it is all what you get out of it!! Thanks!!

re: Prison Release Anxiety (edited from prison blog)

waitingonhim — Sun, 30 Aug 2009 02:36:40 GMT

I will start off by saying that I am a MWI wife. I was a member of prisontalk. And still am, I just do not go there much anymore. It seemed to be a great place at first. But after a while I realized it was not what I was looking for. So, I found Prison Place.

I thought I had read some of your comments on pt. Because when I came here, your name Nolaw looked familiar. And it was actually one of your blogs that made me want to be a member cause it was more or what I was looking for.

Your blogs are what I needed to hear. Unlike that other site, to me, it was more b.s. Do not get me wrong. They have alot of great info. And has helped me and it is to each own, right. But I find more of what I was looking for actually through your blogs.

I really am looking for a better understanding of what my husband is going through. Now do not get me wrong. We have a one of a kind relationship and can talk to each other about anything. So, really if I ask or want to know anything he will tell me. We keep nothing from each other.We are the best of friends.

Please just bear with me here. I have wanted to write you on other blogs. And I would write. And it would be a mess for real. This might not be any better, lol. Anyway, I do not know if you realize it or not. But speaking for me, I find alot of your blogs extremely helpful. I want to be all I can be for my husband when he gets home. And everyone keeps telling me I am going to have my hands full when he comes home. That he is going to have a hard time adjusting when he gets home. And I see that. And I am ready to do what it takes.

But at the same time I think to myself, well, I have not waited 5 1/2 years for nothing. He is going 10 straight. I knew when I committed my self to this relationship that it was going to take patients. And not that I am perfect at it, I do my best. I feel like I am a strong person. And that God did not put me in this situation if he did not think I could handle it.

I fell like alot of people get out and do not have anyone or anything and feel like they have not got anything to live for and in turn they end up going back. And I do not feel like everyone that gets locked up is a bad person. They just made a mistake and we all do. I mean, we have all done some wrong in our lives. And I believe we all deserve another chance.

You know people think I am nuts, believe that!! But I could care less. I mean we all have done wrong in our lives at some point in our lives. And everyone deserves another chance.

But it amazes me how you can blog your feeling about being locked up. Most people do not even want to talk about it. But you have helped me get a better understanding of what some of the effects are of someone being incarcerated is like. I just want to hear it from someone that truly knows what it is like to be locked up and then to come home and all the adjusting that comes along with it.I know my husband and I will be fine. I have all the faith in the world in that. But it still does not hurt to want to know as much as possible and the more understanding I think the better.

But that is why I read your blogs. You tell it like it is. And I do not want no water down version. It is what it is. I have read many of your blogs and will continue to do so. They do help alot.

It is sad but true that society does not know how to forgive not unless they are the ones asking for forgiveness. It is amazing how quick people are to judge yet they act like they are perfect when in fact no one is. We are all sinners. And no one is perfect.

But I find myself too worrying about what others think. But I have to stop and tell myself it does not matter what they think. Who are they to judge? I mean, I love my husband and want to get my brag on about him all the time. And I am a woman, so, I usually say what I want to say, lol. I want to brag about all the wonderful things my husband does for me. But then the first thing they say is, what does you husband do for a living. I am like he is incarcerated. They then looked at me like I am crazy and that I have lost my mind. Go figure!! But he is a good man, but they are already judging him, and have never met him. Ha!!

But God is the only one that is perfect. And we all make mistakes in life. Others truly do not have a clue. It sickens me how quick people are to judge someone that has broken the law. But I can almost promise you those who are quick to judge, they are not perfect either.

But you know what? If no one likes you because you have served time, oh well, they are not what you needed in your life anyway. You need some one that is positive. You just got to keep your head up and stay strong. And it is not easy. But they say if you want something bad enough and you put your mind to it, you can do it. And so what what others think, you tried.

But I truly appreciate the time you take out of your life to write these blogs. I would much rather hear it from you than someone that has read it out of a book and truly does not know what it is like nor have they been there. I just want to know what to expect when my husband gets home. I know if we can make it through these 5 1/2 years we can make it the rest of the way. I know it is not going to be easy. But I believe when you truly want something and work at it and do not give up you will get there, if you want it bad enough. I am not giving up on my husband cause he needs me like I need him and I an not a quiter.

I just want you to know that there are people that are not going to judge you for your past. And there are people that will forgive you. God is the only one we should be worried about anyway. I know it can't be easy cause I have seen how society is when it comes to some that has been locked up. It is sad!! It really is. I know society can be unforgiven but God will open doors for you and if you believe he will carry you through.

I have had days that I just cry cause I want my husband home. And other days I have had to deal with so many idiots. And that makes me realize even more how blessed I am to have been through what my husband and I are going through being tied up in the system. Because these people out here do not even realize how good they got it, really!

I mean, I have been treated like a nobody when I have gone to see my husband. And they should have to add a badge of pure stupidity to add to their shirts. Do not get me wrong I may have ran into one with a little decency. Not that I am there to make friends with them. Cause I am not, I am just there to see my husband. They could treat the visitors with a little decency. Never mind, they do not know what that is.

I can't say that it is has not got to me the way they have treated my husband in front of me. And it all can be a little over whelming cause I too do not want to worry him either by the way they have treated me. And of course he can tell by the look on my face, I have had a run in with an idiot boss.

Oh, and the so called grievances are a total joke. And it can be so aggravating. But one day he is going to leave there. And in the end we will turn out a better person. But we all just got to be strong and pull through and move on. Cause you deal with a few idiots in there and they are every where out here.

So, yes God has a reason for everything. And I truly believe that. Just like I need to hear alot of what you write in your blogs. And that is the truth. And I believe you will be blessed for it. I know you have helped me understand alot. I mean, I know about the crap that really goes on in there. But I just wanted to know how a person can deal with it. And I know everyone is different. But it still helps to hear it from someone that truly knows. I know it has got to be difficult to go in and have to live like you do then come home and then everything changes. How does one deal with it? And then get through it? So, God bless you and all that you have been through. Just know there is light at the end of the tunnel. I am still trying to get there. And you can't give up.

Look I try not to vent. I try to look and find what it takes to get through it. Do not get me wrong, I have my days. But what burns me up is how they give my husbands mail to other inmates. They are suppose to ask for their name and number. Which they never do. And the fool bosses wonder why they have some mad men on their hands. Not that they care cause I know they could care less. But they get paid to do a job, they ought to do it. But to them the one on lock is always wrong and they are right. So, that is that!! Go figure.

My husband is in Ad Seg. And the only thing that lights his fire is when they mess with his mail. Or during shake downs they just stand there in front of him and look at my pics. Instead of doing thier jobs. And looking for s*** they are not suppose to have. And what is sad he tries to respect me and not get into trouble. But there is not much holding him back when they mess with his mail and pics.

he moves every 30 days or so. SO, that alone does not help the mail issues. He is moved because of an escape issue when they first charged him. And they were trying to give him life. He sure did not feel like he had much to lose. When they say don't mess with Tx they mean it.

But anyway, do not worry about what people think of your blogs. And if others do not like what you have to say they do not have to read it, right. And to me it does not matter if they are long or short. Say what you got to say. There are people that want to hear what you have to say. And like I said, if they do not like it they do not have to read it. Ha!

I do not write alot about it all cause my husband and I are the best of friends and we get each other through it all. And that is the way it should be. But I do look to make the best out of our relationship. And I just want all the info I can get on how to be the best I can as far as support when he comes home.I want to be his bestest friend and the best wife ever. So, when I read your blogs I find true inspiration. Cause I know it is going to take alot of adjusting when he gets home. And I want to be there for hiim every step of the way to support him and help him get through it all.

So, I hope I did not bore you. Nor do I mean to vent. But I would love to hear more on what it takes for someone in a relationship to expect when their loved one comes home. What they will be going through once they step out those doors. I want to be able to do my part and make it as easy of a transition as possible.

Thank you for your blogs for they help me alot and I am sure they help alot of others. So, do not ever let anyone keep you from helping others cause they are miserable with themselves. There are people like me that enjoy the blogs you write. And they probably help more people than you know. Thanks again!! Keep on keeping on!! God Bless!!

Waitingonhim

re: Remembering times in prison (edited from blog)

white rose — Mon, 24 Aug 2009 14:17:37 GMT

hello i 'm new here and i have a question how long were you in prison? and if you dont mind me asking what for?

re: Prison 101: Communication (edited)

Whitegirl — Fri, 21 Aug 2009 18:24:26 GMT

Hey I want to thank you for your words on communication with my bf in prison. It did make a difference in my thought process and actully see where he at in there. At first he would tell me he doing great and there no reason to worry, but after awhile i started to feel like he didn't need me to write or visit. I guess I felt unwanted. IDK I guess Im just selfish. But I have started writing him again and hopefully we'll learn to apprieate each other more.

re: Much to say, but cautious

waitingonhim — Tue, 11 Aug 2009 00:23:43 GMT

I do not see any problems myself with you writing as many blogs as you like. I mean, there are so many needs and things people look for to find comfort. And if you are not blogging, lol, I am working on it too,believe it or not. But you never know when you might write on something someone some where just needed to hear about. Thanks!! It has helped me see a lot more. And I could not find a site like this where I was getting this info.